With Cheese!

So it's been awhile since I've updated this thing, and I must admit that it has been quite an interesting month thus far.  My boyfriend of over 2 years and I are over with (for good this time).  It is sad, but I think it's for the best.  If I stay with him, I know exactly where I'll end up and it's a place where I don't really want to end up.  He says that I'm being selfish and shallow and maybe I am, but I'm finally doing things for myself, not for others.  This huge event that I did for myself was allow a guy I've known for 6 years come to see me.  We met very randomly through the internet.  I had to make some web page for school, and one of his friends randomly saw it and randomly emailed me.  Then I started talking to Derrick through that friend.  We've known each other for so long and recently there has very blatantly been a switch from friendship to something more than friendship; so he spent 10 days with me.  My parents knew nothing about this guy, and they definitely aren't the type of people who approve of internet relationships, so it was kind of a huge risk for me.  I've heard all the internet horror stories, but truthfully, I wasn't at all scared to meet him.  Once he got here, it seemed like we'd been spending time together our entire lives.  But anyways, there was lots of drama with Allen (my ex) and I ended up telling my parents.  They didn't freak clear out like I thought they would, but they are coming here tomorrow so I'm assuming we'll be talking about it some more.  The visit went well though, so they're going to have to accept the fact that it WILL be happening again.  I guess I do feel a little bit like a bad person for ending one relationship and jumping into another, but I've been letting myself see the truth finally. I was never completely happy with Allen, and I've always had feelings for Derrick.  We just kind of click, ya know?  It's hard to explain, but if you love someone ya know what I mean.  But anywho...we're trying to plan another trip for in March.  Hopefully he'll be coming out here for a little while and my parents will want to meet him. (We offered multiple times to drive to my hometown for them to meet him, but they said no.)  After they meet him, we're hoping they'll be ok with my flying to Ohio to meet his parents and friends over my Spring Break.  I'm actually really starting to become happy, and I feel like I'm finally doing things for myself.  That prolly sounds selfish, but very rarely do I do something because I truly want to do it.  I'm sure all of this sounds a little crazy and possibly extreme, but to Derrick and I it just seems right.  And if we're both happy together, isn't that all that matters?

ahem. and yes I do realize how random the subject line is.  I couldn't really think of anything to put there, so that is just an example of the extreme randomness and loss that occurs when Derrick and I are together.  Random statements like with cheese and long strawberry. :)

SA503154

SA503134